Mental Illness

There's Light at the End of the Tunnel

Usually I like to make readers think I'm funny through Harry Potter jokes or something, but today's post is going to be a little more serious. I struggled and struggled to find something to write about. I really wanted to do something that would help people, not just inform them. And this morning, it finally dawned on me. I wanted to write about something that afflicts many around the world. Something that afflicts me. Depression.

I remember being in my early teens and not knowing what was wrong with me. I didn't enjoy life anymore. I was scared of what I would do to myself. And this went on for months.
  
"Let me... concentrate on MDD—“major depressive disorder”—or, more commonly, “depression.” When I speak of this, I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious or downhearted on occasion... But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!" -Elder Holland

After a relatively happy normal high school career, I went off to college and felt the all too familiar feelings of hopelessness creeping back up again. I was scared. I had gotten through it once by pure support from family and just going day by day, but I wasn't sure I could do it another time. Days were hard to get through. I was always tired and could barely get myself up to do the things I needed to do. I brought my Book of Mormon around with me because that was the only source of comfort that I could find. But still, it was starting to not be enough. I knew something needed to change; quickly.

I remember sitting in the hallway before chemistry, and I overheard a conversation between two kids. "It's National Depression Screening Day.They're doing free screenings in cafeteria." one of them said. I didn't even know such a thing existed! The next thing I knew, I was walking past the office with the sign for the screenings, and my legs walked themselves right into that office. I had no idea what I was doing. Sure enough, I had depression. This normally would have been a bad thing to hear, but I was ecstatic! It explained so much! And maybe now I could get help and get better! The next few months were the hardest of my life and included putting in mission papers, continuing to get worse until I took a psychiatric blow, and being put on depression/anxiety medication.

It's now been almost a year and a half since that time of my life, and I'm feeling so much better. The medicine was the way that Heavenly Father had prepared for me to become healthy again and it was one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Mental illnesses can change a person and their families life in the blink of an eye. They can make every day seem like a Mt. Everest you need to get over. And they can afflict anyone at certain points in life. The hardest part is that theses illnesses are understood by doctors, but rarely by the general public. I found a wonderful article called "Myths about Mental Illness" by Alexander B. Morrison. These are the 7 myths he describes:

1. All mental illness is caused by sin.

2. Someone is to blame for mental illness.
3. All that people with mental illness need is a priesthood blessing.
4. Mentally ill persons just lack willpower. 
5. All mentally ill persons are dangerous and should be locked up
6. Mental illness doesn’t strike children and young people
7. Whatever the cause, mental illness is untreatable. 

Mental Illnesses exist in so many forms. And sometimes they can last long periods of time, or be over with after we have adjusted to a certain circumstance. But either way, they are scary. And to all of you that are suffering from one, or know someone who is suffering from one; listen very carefully. This too shall pass! My companion and I recently listened to a talk by Elder Uchtdorf where he talks about how we aren't made for this world. We are made for the Heavens. This means that our earthly bodies are, well, earthly. They have disabilities, illnesses, and faults that aren't existent in the next. This is the most comforting thing to me. Everything that we have ever struggled with is "but a small moment." We have to do our part though. We have to "endure it well." If we do so, we will be free from every ailment that binds us during this life. 

But that doesn't mean that we have to endure ever trial in this life without help. Heavenly Father expects us to use the righteous resources available to us. And don't you ever think for one minute that you have "brought this upon yourself." Mental illnesses are a combination of experiential factors, genetic factors, cognitive factors, and biochemical factors (When Your Child Is Depressed-Ensign). There are so many things going into why you feel like this. 

So HOW do I fix my illness? HOW do I make myself feel better? HOW do I change my life around and start fresh? Well I will be the first to tell you that the answer is different for everyone. But there is an answer for you! Based on all the articles I've read, this article "When Your Child IS Depressed" sums them up the best. 
 
1. Remember that you are a son or daughter of God. You are inestimable worth!
2. Remember prayer. Every day!

3. Apply the lessons of the scriptures into your own life. 
4. Seek counsel from the bishop.  
5. Master skills that will give you confidence and help you to keep trying. 
6. Engage in service. 
7. Develop a positive, proactive view of life. 
8. Develop a healthy way of life which includes regular exercise, sufficient sleep, a nutritious diet, and regular social interaction. 
9. Understand that you can choose how to respond to life's challenges. 
10. Seek assistance from qualified medical or clinical personnel if necessary. 

I know this is a lot of information and if you are anything like me, you're nervous about working down that list. But I can promise you that Heavenly Father only gives you trials that He knows you can deal with. I know that with all my heart. I know that the road ahead of you might seem too long, too hard, or too hopeless; but YOU CAN DO IT. You will be given the tools you need to get better. You might still struggle throughout your life, but that's because Heavenly Father trusts that you can do it. He knows you're strong and He wants you to prove that to yourself. I know that mental illness can seem like the end of one's life. But don't ever let it be. You are of so much value, you can't even imagine it. You have a purpose in this life and never let the adversary tell you otherwise. You are loved. NEVER forget it. 

 Articles About Depression

"Like a Broken Vessel"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng

"When Your Child Is Depressed"
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/08/when-your-child-is-depressed?lang=eng  

"Myths about Mental Illness" 
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2005/10/myths-about-mental-illness?lang=eng

 

A Fly on the Wall in a Mormon Home

The Family

Today I want to write about something that has been on my mind a lot lately. No not food or how I'm going to get to Harry Potter World. It's been my family. If there has been one thing that I've learned on my mission, it's been that the family is under attack. Have you ever wondered how you can strengthen your family? Well I have a very strong testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints focuses their entire teaching around the family. Here's a little view into what the church teaches on how to raise "Christ centered families."

It's 6:30 am I hear dad's footsteps coming down the stairs. He knocks quietly on each bedroom door, then returns to the kitchen and sits down at the table. Struggling to open our eyes, we all shuffle to the table, scriptures in hand. Family scripture study. The church has been advising families, for years, to make this a daily routine in our homes. I am a firm believer that my family became stronger and more united because of this. We ended each study with a family prayer and rushed off to school or work. But not before our parents had given us the "spiritual armor" we needed to get through the day. 

LDS (Latter-Day Saint) families are also advised to do "Family Home Evening." It is a night, set-aside each week, where the family gathers and has a spiritual lesson, council, activity, etc. In my house we knew that this was Monday night and that we should make sure we were home with the family to be able to take part in "FHE." We weren't always consistent in doing it, but I know that Heavenly Father blessed us the weeks that we did.

"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of the,
And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye e converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 
Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kindgom of heaven. 
And whoso shall receive on such little child in my name receiveth me. 
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." 

If that doesn't show you how important children are to God, then I don't know what does! The emphasizes this so well! They actually have a class that you can take that helps you become better spouses, parents, and disciples of Christ! I'm pretty sure that my parents memorized this book, because I've been going through it and they did so much from it that really worked!

My favorite part of the whole book is where it lays out what the roles are for each spouse.

Fathers- You are to be the breadwinner, lead the family spiritually, love your wife, and make sure your family has the necessities. This isn't where it ends though. The church also highly encourages fathers to go on daddy daughter/father son dates, give your family blessings (if the Priesthood is held), have one-on-one interviews with your kids to see how they are doing, teach your kids to work, hold scripture study and prayer, serve happily in church callings, attend the temple, encourage good music etc, develop family traditions, and do good activities with the kids.


This might seem overwhelming, but these things are emphasized and taught every week in church! I know that it can be done. I have an incredible father that somehow managed to hold 2 jobs and be an incredible dad.

Mothers- You are the nurturers. Mothers are advised to stay at home (if financially possible) with their children. They are raising the next generation! This is looked upon as one of the most important jobs in the entire church! They are encouraged to play with their kids, teach their kids the gospel, help them to learn good values and to do well in school, teach them talents and skills that will be useful to their lives, read to them, love them, encourage them, build them up, and help them to know they are sons and daughters of God. THIS is one intense role. And that's not the end of their duties.

My mom. I have no idea even where to start with her. All the days I came home from school and she just sat there and listened to my complaining, then went and cleaned the house, then taxied us everywhere, then made sure we had a nice meal to sit down to together as a family, then got all our homework done, helped us get ready for bed, read us stories and said prayers with us, then got up continually throughout the night when we had bad dreams or just wanted to see her. That takes some serious awesomeness. There's a very special place for mothers in Heaven.

Family is central to God's plan. Central. Like, as important to God as a wand is to Harry. God gave a  commandment to Adam and Eve that they were to "multiply and replenish the earth." Being a parent is the most rewarding thing that Heavenly Father says you can do. It's the only thing that will continue to bless you for the rest of your life. It must be hard! I don't know, I've never done it. But I do know that through the teachings of the gospel, we can learn how to raise our children with God. We can help them become the next generation of disciples. We can prepare them for salvation.


"Marriage and Family Relations" manual
http://www.lds.org/manual/marriage-and-family-relations-instructors-manual?lang=eng

"The Family: A Proclamation to the World"
 http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

How to do Family Home Evening
http://www.lds.org/topics/family-home-evening?lang=eng
 

Departing Missionaries: January 2014

Departing Missionaries: January 2014

Transfer meetings hold every single emotion imaginable, for a missionary. The new elders and sisters, fresh from the MTC in Utah, are questioning what in the world they did to themselves; the new missionaries are still questioning what in the world they did to themselves; the older missionaries are starting to panic, thinking about life "not as a missionary"; and the departing missionaries are planning escape routes and are thinking "no one is making me go home!"

Toward the beginning of the meeting, President Andersen has all the departing missionaries line up and gives them time to give the rest of the missionaries advice. This has always been my favorite part of the meeting. Standing in front of 100 or so missionaries, these elders and sisters are the greatest examples to us. They've served a faithful 18 months or 2 years. They've gone through depression, losses, disappointments, sickness, scary experiences, snow, ice, and almost everything else imaginable. But as they look over this crow of younger missionaries, they always have a look of wisdom in their eyes. They know that this was the only thing that they were supposed to be doing with their lives during this time. They know that they have experienced that joy only seeing someone accept the gospel can bring. They've changed others lives, and they've changed the younger missionaries testimonies. They've been the Lord's faithful servants, and they've endured to the end.

This transfer meeting was special to me because I had a lot of good missionary friends leaving to start a new chapter of their lives. I'm so grateful to everything they taught me. I'm grateful for the time they took away from their lives to bring others to Christ. I'm grateful for the loving example they were to me, and for how Christlike they had all become. A mission didn't change them. They truly changed their mission.


A huge thanks to the departing missionaries. Elder Bethers, Elder Brewer, Elder Pulsipher, Elder Neville, Elder Riley, Elder Heiner, Elder Dempsey, Sister fowler, Sister Hill, and Sister Means.

You elders and sisters are incredible and the Lord is going to bless you so much. Thank you for everything you have done. Stay close to your Savior, and never forget these experiences you've had! We love you!

Self-Esteem

 Become a Queen With Self-Esteem!

I struggled and struggled trying to think of something to write this week. For some reason the only thing that I could think about was Dove Chocolate... and I could write pages about that stuff. But my goal this week is to "be more missionary minded" so I had to think of something else.

Finally I realized what I needed to write about. Sister Ellis and I got asked to teach the Young Women about "self-esteem." This completely shocked both of us because we felt like we were the absolute wrong people to be talking to others about this. The week before we taught, we could not think of ANYTHING to say to these girls. We were at a complete loss. But after some excess "lds.org" searching and a headache, we found a wonderful talk by President Faust about self-esteem.

He says, "Self-esteem goes to the very heart of our personal growth and accomplishment. Self-esteem is the glue that holds together our self-reliance, our self-control, our self-approval or disapproval, and keeps all self-defense mechanisms secure. It is a protection against excessive self-deception, self-distrust, self-reproach, and plain old-fashion selfishness. After a lifetime of observing, I have found the greatest respect is owed not necessarily to the rich, or the famous, but to the quiet, unsung, unknown heroes whose true identity, like the unknown soldier’s, is known only to God. The unsung often have little of status, but much of worth"

There are 6 main ingredients into making a "self-esteem cupcake" (Sister Ellis used her artsy skills to make them the cutest cupcakes).

1. Keep Your Free Agency- When we give up our agency, we are at the mercy of our addictions. There are many addictions in this world and ANY of them can cause us to lose all self-esteem. When we are free from them, we have our agency and we are able to rely on ourselves for more things in life. "In Proverbs we read: “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28)."

2. Humility- "It is the humility that can accept and live with one’s own warts without cosmetics to hide them. It is important to learn to live with our uncorrectable physical and mental defects without comment and without explanation" Elder Faust says, as he explains what kind of humility helps self-esteem. Humility to listen to other people's suggestions can make us better people! I know that is something I DEFINITELY have a hard time remembering

3. Honesty- Being honest with ourselves, and with others. When we are truthful to others, they gain our trust and come to us in times of need. We are serving them, and that helps us to feel better about ourselves. When we are true to ourselves, we accept ourselves as we are and move forward with trying to make correctable things, better in our personalities/lives.

4. Love Work- Growing up, I didn't think that these two words belonged together in a sentence. But the older I get, the more I learn that working gives me such a sense of accomplishment! My mom is an avid runner, and I started trying to be like her (impossible because she's amazing) and I realized that the initial "running" part was not my favorite. But the success I felt after was incredible! I've still yet to get to the point that she's at, where she loves the running part too. She's crazy!
"An ordinary, garden-variety talent can be nurtured and nourished into a great gift through hard work" Elder Faust says. So start practicing something that you've always wanted to be good at, today! It will make you self-esteem sky rocket.

5. Love Others and Yourself- We asked the girls "which one of these is harder to do?" when we were teaching them, and almost all of them said "themselves." But as we come to love others more, we end up loving ourselves more as well! It's a win-win deal. The best way I've found to love others, is through service. When you are serving someone, it's really hard not to like them.

6. Love God- This one is the most important ingredient in our recipe. The first great commandment is to love God with all our hearts. When we do so, Heavenly Father blesses us beyond anything we can imagine.


And there you have it folks. That is Elder Faust's recipe for self-esteem. I know that these days, it's so hard to feel good about yourself. I spent hours and hours staring at pictures of models that I wanted to look like and feeling like I wasn't good enough. But I know that I am a daughter of God and that he has made everyone EXACTLY as they are supposed to look. He has given us each unique talents, and gifts to share with others. He loves us more than we could ever fathom. As long as we try to do our best and follow the commandments, we will one day rest from all our sorrows. We will be perfected and we will be with those that love us completely. I'm so excited for that day!

So next time you look in the mirror and have an inkling of  self-doubt, remember this formula. I know that it will bring you closer to Christ and, in turn, help you to love yourself more! Try it today! (Free of charge.)


Elder Faust's Talk
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=852

Be As a Little Child

To Become Childlike

Hibernation: to spend winter in close quarters in a dormant condition, as bears and certain other animals.

This is the only explanation I could come up with for why I haven't posted for a couple months. I thought it was cold in Utah, but man! It's freezing in Kentucky! Okay it's not a good excuse but my companion was playing with the dictionary and that ended up being the one we used...

Have you ever heard someone described as an "old soul?" My companion describes it as someone who has the wisdom as though he's experienced a lot, but is young in age. Well I've learned throughout my life that I have an old, grumpy, grandpa-like soul. Now this is by no means has the positive connotation that "old soul" has. Ever heard of being "childlike?" Yes, that, my dear friends, is what I'll be writing about today. My journey to try and become childlike.

Recently I was noticing that no matter where my companion and I went, the children were the same. Whether we were in a small house, with cockroaches running up and down the walls; or in a giant house with a maid cleaning in the background, the kids had the same desires, and reactions toward the gospel. They get so excited when you talk to them about Jesus, they want to share their candy with you, they give you best friend bracelets and do your hair, they climb all over you just wanting a hug and attention. But most of all, they listen intently when we talk about the gospel and they absolutely light up.

“Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3–4).

I'll always remember my mom coming home from church one afternoon and saying that my little brother (then 5 years old) had been crying during a song they were singing in primary. She asked him what was the matter and he replied "that song just makes tears come out of my eyes." Little children are the prime examples of the kind of disciples we need to be. They are so close to the spirit that they don't question any feeling they have. 

I struggled with my testimony and having faith for a lot of years. My brain would go into analytical mode and I'd come up with every excuse under the sun for why the gospel wasn't true. I couldn't just say, "I know it's true because I feel it in my heart and I've prayed about it." I needed proof. Rarely do children need proof for things. They accept the answer, without reasoning, and go on with life. They see another child that's cold outside, and they want to help them! They cry when they've done something bad and realize that they shouldn't have done that. And they love unconditionally.I was having a really hard time voicing my testimony at a family's house the other day. I ended up just breaking down and the whole lesson was a mess of blubbering tears. Their little daughter came and just stroked my head while I talked and asked why I was crying. It made me cry even more! Yes because I miss my mom, but also because I know that was a small act of Heavenly Father showing me what HE would do if He were here.

Jean A. Stevens says, "Have some of life’s experiences taken from you the believing heart and childlike faith you once had? If so, look around at the children in your life. And then look again. They may be children in your family, across the street, or in the Primary in your ward. If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth."

 

 Becoming childlike is not easy. Especially when we feel hardened from the world, like Jean A. Stevens talked about. But it is doable! It is something that God has asked of us! I know that our lives will become so much easier when we just accept the things of the Lord and do His will. When we love those around us, as children do, and we give our self to Him. Follow your children's example!

"If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth."

-Jean A. Stevens

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/become-as-a-little-child?lang=eng