There's Light at the End of the Tunnel
Usually I like to make readers think I'm funny through Harry Potter jokes or something, but today's post is going to be a little more serious. I struggled and struggled to find something to write about. I really wanted to do something that would help people, not just inform them. And this morning, it finally dawned on me. I wanted to write about something that afflicts many around the world. Something that afflicts me. Depression.
I remember being in my early teens and not knowing what was wrong with me. I didn't enjoy life anymore. I was scared of what I would do to myself. And this went on for months.
"Let me... concentrate on MDD—“major depressive disorder”—or, more commonly, “depression.” When I speak of this, I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious or downhearted on occasion... But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively—though I am a vigorous advocate of square shoulders and positive thinking!" -Elder Holland
After a relatively happy normal high school career, I went off to college and felt the all too familiar feelings of hopelessness creeping back up again. I was scared. I had gotten through it once by pure support from family and just going day by day, but I wasn't sure I could do it another time. Days were hard to get through. I was always tired and could barely get myself up to do the things I needed to do. I brought my Book of Mormon around with me because that was the only source of comfort that I could find. But still, it was starting to not be enough. I knew something needed to change; quickly.
I remember sitting in the hallway before chemistry, and I overheard a conversation between two kids. "It's National Depression Screening Day.They're doing free screenings in cafeteria." one of them said. I didn't even know such a thing existed! The next thing I knew, I was walking past the office with the sign for the screenings, and my legs walked themselves right into that office. I had no idea what I was doing. Sure enough, I had depression. This normally would have been a bad thing to hear, but I was ecstatic! It explained so much! And maybe now I could get help and get better! The next few months were the hardest of my life and included putting in mission papers, continuing to get worse until I took a psychiatric blow, and being put on depression/anxiety medication.
It's now been almost a year and a half since that time of my life, and I'm feeling so much better. The medicine was the way that Heavenly Father had prepared for me to become healthy again and it was one of the biggest blessings of my life.
Mental illnesses can change a person and their families life in the blink of an eye. They can make every day seem like a Mt. Everest you need to get over. And they can afflict anyone at certain points in life. The hardest part is that theses illnesses are understood by doctors, but rarely by the general public. I found a wonderful article called "Myths about Mental Illness" by Alexander B. Morrison. These are the 7 myths he describes:
1. All mental illness is caused by sin.
2. Someone is to blame for mental illness.
3. All that people with mental illness need is a priesthood blessing.
4. Mentally ill persons just lack willpower.
5. All mentally ill persons are dangerous and should be locked up
6. Mental illness doesn’t strike children and young people
7. Whatever the cause, mental illness is untreatable.
Mental Illnesses exist in so many forms. And sometimes they can last long periods of time, or be over with after we have adjusted to a certain circumstance. But either way, they are scary. And to all of you that are suffering from one, or know someone who is suffering from one; listen very carefully. This too shall pass! My companion and I recently listened to a talk by Elder Uchtdorf where he talks about how we aren't made for this world. We are made for the Heavens. This means that our earthly bodies are, well, earthly. They have disabilities, illnesses, and faults that aren't existent in the next. This is the most comforting thing to me. Everything that we have ever struggled with is "but a small moment." We have to do our part though. We have to "endure it well." If we do so, we will be free from every ailment that binds us during this life.
But that doesn't mean that we have to endure ever trial in this life without help. Heavenly Father expects us to use the righteous resources available to us. And don't you ever think for one minute that you have "brought this upon yourself." Mental illnesses are a combination of experiential factors, genetic factors, cognitive factors, and biochemical factors (When Your Child Is Depressed-Ensign). There are so many things going into why you feel like this.
So HOW do I fix my illness? HOW do I make myself feel better? HOW do I change my life around and start fresh? Well I will be the first to tell you that the answer is different for everyone. But there is an answer for you! Based on all the articles I've read, this article "When Your Child IS Depressed" sums them up the best.
1. Remember that you are a son or daughter of God. You are inestimable worth!
2. Remember prayer. Every day!
3. Apply the lessons of the scriptures into your own life.
4. Seek counsel from the bishop.
5. Master skills that will give you confidence and help you to keep trying.
6. Engage in service.
7. Develop a positive, proactive view of life.
8. Develop a healthy way of life which includes regular exercise, sufficient sleep, a nutritious diet, and regular social interaction.
9. Understand that you can choose how to respond to life's challenges.
10. Seek assistance from qualified medical or clinical personnel if necessary.
I know this is a lot of information and if you are anything like me, you're nervous about working down that list. But I can promise you that Heavenly Father only gives you trials that He knows you can deal with. I know that with all my heart. I know that the road ahead of you might seem too long, too hard, or too hopeless; but YOU CAN DO IT. You will be given the tools you need to get better. You might still struggle throughout your life, but that's because Heavenly Father trusts that you can do it. He knows you're strong and He wants you to prove that to yourself. I know that mental illness can seem like the end of one's life. But don't ever let it be. You are of so much value, you can't even imagine it. You have a purpose in this life and never let the adversary tell you otherwise. You are loved. NEVER forget it.
Articles About Depression
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng
"When Your Child Is Depressed"
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/08/when-your-child-is-depressed?lang=eng
"Myths about Mental Illness"
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2005/10/myths-about-mental-illness?lang=eng
I love this blog, Sister! I too struggle with depression. It is quite the battle to overcome, but like you said, God will help you to overcome. Thank you for the beautiful post!
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